If you find yourself stressing over life events that seem to demand all of your attention and drain all of your energy, don't stress (as ironic as that sounds). More than likely they are things that just about anyone off the street ends up stressing over. School, work, and financial obligations may be only the beginning. You consistently seek effective ways to manage your stress because the last thing you want to do is to let that stress manage you. And even when your methods are working, you might not be aware of it since life seems to throw obstacles at you endlessly.
But what about your relationships with friends, family, or even your significant other? Sometimes the social stress you get from maintaining those relationships accumulates over time and you feel like you've exhausted yourself. Have you ever felt like you were the only one trying to maintain an existing relationship with someone? You probably have. A close friend, boyfriend, teammate, coworker, anyone you've developed some kind of relationship with. If you're anything like me, you probably felt a little depressed after trying to no avail.
Don't beat yourself up, though. It's completely natural for wanting to try so hard. If you feel helpless about where you are in your social life, you may be experiencing a lot of social stress because humans are simply social beings by nature. We crave good relationships, because honestly, what on earth could you possibly do on your own without anybody to rely on or help you? It's natural to want to maintain positive social ties with others, but sometimes it just isn't possible with certain people in your life.
There comes a point when you must decide what you really want out of your relationships with others. It's probably because you're tired of dealing with all that social stress. You have to decide either to continue trying to make things work, or accept what has happened by taking it as a harsh life lesson so that one day you are able to move on.
Here are the steps I take in trying to control my social stress and ultimately in hoping to change the state of my relationships.
1. Reevaluate what you value in life.
Don't let social stress get the best of you. If you're unsure about certain relationships you have, take some time to look over them and see if the person on the other end of your relationship is on the same page as you about where things stand. Only the two of you are capable of making any difference in the relationship, but since you have no control over what he or she does, you still have the choice to make an impact.
But what about your relationships with friends, family, or even your significant other? Sometimes the social stress you get from maintaining those relationships accumulates over time and you feel like you've exhausted yourself. Have you ever felt like you were the only one trying to maintain an existing relationship with someone? You probably have. A close friend, boyfriend, teammate, coworker, anyone you've developed some kind of relationship with. If you're anything like me, you probably felt a little depressed after trying to no avail.
Don't beat yourself up, though. It's completely natural for wanting to try so hard. If you feel helpless about where you are in your social life, you may be experiencing a lot of social stress because humans are simply social beings by nature. We crave good relationships, because honestly, what on earth could you possibly do on your own without anybody to rely on or help you? It's natural to want to maintain positive social ties with others, but sometimes it just isn't possible with certain people in your life.
There comes a point when you must decide what you really want out of your relationships with others. It's probably because you're tired of dealing with all that social stress. You have to decide either to continue trying to make things work, or accept what has happened by taking it as a harsh life lesson so that one day you are able to move on.
Here are the steps I take in trying to control my social stress and ultimately in hoping to change the state of my relationships.
1. Reevaluate what you value in life.
- Think about what matters to you.
- Ask yourself how much that person means to you.
- If you continue to try but the end result is not what you hoped for, you may actually be happier and satisfied knowing that you at least tried, because maintaining that relationship was something you valued.
- You can go as far as doing everything you can to keep the relationship alive. But if the feelings aren't mutual, if you two aren't on the same page about it and it becomes obvious to you that your friend or lover doesn't plan on trying anymore, don't force it. It would be a waste of your motivation and energy.
- Remember, you can only do so much before you wear yourself out or eventually break.
- When you try your best in anything you do, there will be no room for regret regardless of the outcome.
- Have you ever heard of the saying, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take"? It's so true that it almost makes too much sense.
- Don't be afraid to risk getting turned down because what you may end up feeling more down about is that you never stuck around to find out if things could have turned out differently.
- It's important to keep an open mind throughout your efforts.
- If things don't work out don't let it faze you. Just remember that you don't have all the time and energy in the world to please every single person, even those who are meaningful to you.
- Where your efforts go unappreciated, they will be appreciated somewhere else. It's not wrong to accept that you've done all you could when you know you truly have done all you could.
Don't let social stress get the best of you. If you're unsure about certain relationships you have, take some time to look over them and see if the person on the other end of your relationship is on the same page as you about where things stand. Only the two of you are capable of making any difference in the relationship, but since you have no control over what he or she does, you still have the choice to make an impact.
